2. Ophelia
Ophelia, sweet child, dominated by powerful men
Abandoned to grief and madness
Her last moments, a watery slip
May have been unintended consequence
Or dire injury
Consecrated – and yet we wonder
Who is culpable?
A modern woman now faces
The same pernicious forces
That may divide her from her own precious reason
Professor of mathematics, her intellect, ratiocinative,
Attempts to quantify the carrying capacity of the earth
What can it hold, nurture, sustain
Without ruin, lack of renewal,
Or toxic inundation?
Her losses, both great and universal
Small and specific
Her shame-filled love
Will serve as the crucible
Over which her sanity may be fractured
4. Death Enters the Room
There is only a vague sense impression
Of all that came before
Her husband’s violent death.
His cataleptic rigidity a necrotic grimace,
Creating shock
From which she does not recover
Contrasting the trauma with an inevitable process of biology
Entropy claims its dominance
Through programmed cell death
As 50-70 billion cells die within the body each day,
Expressions in the art of disintegration
Ophelia had not considered this internal suicide
Impermanence unsettled her.
Universal forces destroy with uncostly effort –
Endosymbionts inducing a biochemical cascade,
Release of caspase activators of annihilation
What then of the symbolic ends?
Thoughts, feelings, relationship
She could not push away the concepts
Handle the nuance of shade
Mourning each permutation
Uncomfortable with the intensity of emotion
The finality of the funeral.
6. Deep Grief
Death entered the rooms of her soul,
Unwelcome and alien
Permeated the air
Sleep was her only comfort,
The denial of dreams
Truth returned each morning, aching
Nothing in her waking hours could drive it away
Time had betrayed her –
No solace gained through its passing
The memory of life before became distant
The memory of her love transfigured into a specter;
A cruel trick
She could feel the world
Slipping from her mind
Meaning drained from her face,
Replaced with an effigy:
Becoming the object of her own scorn
Confusion lined her eyes,
Now emptied of other expression
In the recesses of her secret self she began to be afraid
Not of death, stalking her thoughts, but insanity
A far greater apprehension –
Death is certain,
Sanity not so fixed!
The onset of madness,
Robbing her lucidity, was subtle,
A slow and silent poison
It weighed upon her as if tangible, haunting her
The connection between her innermost being
And the outer world dissolving –
She began mimicking his death.
Notes: These excerpts are from my epic, Mere Beasts, which can be found here: http://chromapoesy.com/2011/07/18/mere-beasts-an-epic/ Sections 2 and 6 were already posted but Section 4 was written today for NaPoWriMo day 14.
you create a really nice flow in your story telling…even with the words, the ones i stumble on i can almost read right through them with what makes sense…of these three..the last one, number 6 is the one i enjoyed most…maybe four set it up well too…His cataleptic rigidity a necrotic grimace,
Creating shock
From which she does not recover…was a really cool part in 4…
Nice, when you read the excerpts before 6 was your favorite :). Glad to hear 4 integrated well and helped set the stage for 6. Thanks Brian, I really appreciate your feedback every day.
Deeply moving – I’ll have to look at the rest of it!
Thank you Gary, if you get a chance other excerpts are available but the entire work isn’t on the blog yet. I’d appreciate any feedback.
I’ll take a look.
Thank you :).
Not sure if you want works choppy comments here – it’s all ambitious, fine stuff, but I like these in this latest set better than the older ones. If I may make a suggestion, the lines that clink are the ones that suddenly seem to tell rather show – they rip me out of the sweep of things occasionally. Less of that in these drafts than before.
Thank you, I will look at it anew (haven’t in a while) with an eye out for the lines you speak about. One of the dangers of working on something over a long period of time I suppose.
Is this Hamlet’s Ophelia? I kind of feel it is but that you have given a whole new spin to the character. Great job!
She is somewhat of Hamlet, mythic, and yet a modern psychological creature. If you follow the link you’ll find the introit to the epic which includes quotes from Hamlet and Titus Andronicus (in my epic Ophelia and Lavinia are sisters). Thank you for your comment; it’s nice to meet you.
Alright! I will. I’m quite excited, Ophelia and Lavinia are two of my favorite female Shakespearean characters (next to Lady M and Desdemona)
Wonderful, I look forward to your feedback.
do mere beasts travel these pathways of mind?
perhaps ‘merely’ brings an innocence of insanity.
beyond simplicity,
sanity is a flimsy fabric articulated with butterfly hinges.
hopping lightly across uncertain possibilities. bated breath
released into sleep’s sanctuary.
sorry waffling =)
the poem is a vivid journey.
touching =).
Thank you Janet, it works better in the context of the entire work but that’s somewhat impossible on the blog. What a wonderful description with the butterfly hinges.
the poem is fine! and i even disagree with myself about mind and madness in other species. even ants and bees get cranky perhaps we do not understand their frame of mind. i do think sanity is a delicate thing and that you express that in the poem.
I like no 4. Usually one is unsettled by death, but considering what’s really going inside, is that death is there slowly taking a little at time out of oneself.
I can see her concern with going insane. Lots of vivid emotions described in this one. I shall have to check out the other bits of this epic too.
Yes, very dramatic for effect and not perhaps the more intellectual style of some of the other poems. I found it was necessary for connecting to his tragedies. Thank you for your comments, they always illuminate.