We are too far removed
from the initial awe
crusted information
over processed
analyzed, interpreted,
evaluated
D E C O N S T R U C T E D
The initial brilliance
of the encounter,
engagement is lost…
The trick is
don’t allow
previous interpretation,
WISDOM
To cloud your own
intense, primal,
visceral, and unique
encounter with the world.
Because I didn’t know any better
Silly things I believed
when I was a very young child:
the world was black and white
until they invented color film;
the earth rotated but clouds
were fixed in the sky;
that if you experienced pain in dreams
it was because you were hurt in real life;
in mythic furniture called chesterdrawers
(because my parents had Oklahoma accents
and never said chest-of-drawers);
when I died my spirit would be able to travel
into every space on Earth,
down to the Mariana trench,
over the Himalayas,
through Victoria Falls,
within the molecular structure of atoms –
wherever I wanted to go*;
and finally,
eventually with education and attention
everything would become clear.
*As a child I imagined that when I died I’d get to go everywhere in the world, see the hidden places. In my dream world it was all beautiful, breathtakingly freeing, a monumental liberation from the constraints of embodiment. It was always without people and I never imagined anything terrifying or disgusting. It was part IMAX helicopter shot mixed with invulnerability. Spiritual bliss attained through natural beauty.
Both poems revelatory and ringing, but I especially like the second.( I’ve run across old Chester many times and wondered about his drawers, and how everything he thinks is an ideal, not an idea.) I loved your view of the freedom of death as being able to go everywhere and see it like a National Geographic spread–(I used to envision myself as a mermaid, living in a giant clam shell, roaming the sea, and friends with all the fishes, who could talk.) The last lines are totally killer–sometimes I believe them still. Very nice of you to give these away today, Anna.
Thank you, I’ve been out all day becoming dusty with realities and needed this reminder that I didn’t always view the world the way I do now. I’m still baffled by human nature after such a long exposure to it. I love your mermaid vision (I wrote a poem for my mentee several months ago about a mermaid to help her through a very difficult transition). Regarding the last two lines: me too, me too. In giving freely I allow myself liberation from the corrupted motives anathema to art. A truly stupid thing for a publisher to say but as I said in New Toys, ‘I reserve my rights to multiplicity/To vagaries involving philosophy’ :).
I love this, especially the impact of the word “awe” at the end of the line: “We are too far removed
from the initial awe”
“when I died my spirit would be able to travel
into every space on Earth” … I’m sort of still hoping this capability will take me to Ireland one day.
Great ending. : ) I don’t know that things ever get clear. I know I’m still waiting.
Yes, if things get clear please let me know, it’ll free up an enormous amount of time in my day :)!
The first one rings true. One often gains experience and ‘wisdom’ but those things can also hinder experiencing new things with a totally ‘uncontaminated’ mind. Something like trying to use that gained wisdom on everything after and not realizing that it is inappropriate to do that or that it keeps one from fully enjoying the present.
The second. Very clever. The world is black and white until they invented color film, right about that time the line between hero and villain began to blur in stories. Interesting that it does parallel what seems to be happening in the world or how we view situations as we grow older.
As for one’s spirit being able to travel anywhere, exploring places one could not during life, I had the same wish when I idly wonder the ‘if I died’ scenario. So I really like how you wrote it very much 🙂
It’s so wonderful to see you here this morning :). Yes, the misapplication of processed experience can blind us to the present or ever cause us to misinterpret or miss important continuing learning opportunities. Black and white functioning as moral certitude, how cleverly you’ve pulled that out, I hadn’t thought of it in that way too. As to sharing the wish to explore places I’m happy to not be the only one with that desire. As a child I didn’t fear death but was fascinated by it, I was taught to fear it. I think that’s interesting and maybe part of my Western cultural heritage. Thank you!
As always, talking with you gives me something to ponder. How did one come to fear death and for what reason. And these reasons, perhaps they change with age and exposure to various things.
Thanks, I enjoyed your response at your blog. Why do we come to fear death? Lots to consider…
“The trick is
don’t allow
previous interpretation,
To cloud your own
intense, primal,
visceral, and unique
encounter with the world.”…So well put. Everything that is instinctive in me urges me to believe that what you say here is the truth.
Me too, nice to meet you dreaming thru the twilight.
lovely Anna, a real call, I feel, for our own unique vision to be our guide, the integrity of our own senses, thoughts…i don’t think the things you thought as a child were ‘silly’ but rather wonderful, and hold a truth, that the imagination makes these things possible..I still think the world used to be in black and white, it did! no but it did! Look at all the pictures! hahaha..and you can curl up on a sigh! Thank you
Thank you for your kind words and great imagination. I found the poems in bits from Facebook posts a year ago (odd place to leave them so I thought I’d make them a little nest here :)). You’re an inspiration, by the way, keep using that ever so unique voice!
the tiny descriptions in your poem
like fixed sky, black n white…
it reflects the message strongly but simply.
Nice read as always 🙂
Thanks Jyoti, nice to see you making the rounds :). I look forward to reading your poems when you return from your break!
yeah finally i got the breathing space 🙂
So here I am again blogging.
My new post is waiting 4 u !!!
i like this poem a lot, how you led into the backbone of it and how you traveled once you got there.