To read the erasure poem/painting click on it to zoom. Circled text forms the poem or it can be read in stanzas below:
Jane rehearses heartbreak on a splendid Midsummer night at Thornfield while Mr. Rochester’s potent lightning strike, a seemingly small lie of omission, tears asunder the great horse-chestnut tree at the bottom of the orchard
Erasure poem and painting by Anna Montgomery
Text from the novel, Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Brontë
the sea is a barrier
from you
brine and foam
destined to rush between
it is a long way
morally certain
on the eve of separation
stars enter into their shining
my heart was still
a string inextricably knotted
cord of communion snapped
impossible to proceed
I endured no longer
grief and love
claiming mastery
petrified, it strikes me with
terror and anguish
to be torn from you forever
it is like looking on
the necessity of death
This is a form of experimental poetry introduced to me by Vince Gotera in a prompt, my first erasure poem is here: https://chromapoetica.com/2012/05/03/calyx-of-held/ along with the link to the original prompt. This poem was written for Open Link Night at dVerse Poets Pub. Join us: http://dversepoets.com.
Chromapoetica 
This confirms something that I’ve suspected for a long time: that you are a genius! 🙂
Seriously, I absolutely love the form here. The selected the text and the order in which you’ve arranged it is really stunning. I’d love to try this!
Love it!
-Eva
Eva, you’re an angel :D, you make my heart and my beloved muse happy! I can’t wait to read what you’ve been writing. There are lots of great links in the original prompt, I think you would love the form it’s lots of fun. There’s a great site that has a list of literature in the public domain: http://gutenberg.net.au/plusfifty-a-m.html. I’ve used if for a prompt on erasure poems (previously I picked House of Mirth by Edith Wharton) and also one on turning prose into poetry (I used the Rosicrucian by Shelley).
Thank you! Sounds like great fun…I’ll give it a try : )
How exciting!
hey cool…this is awesome
Thanks, it’s a fun experiment! This is my second and I think I’ll try another in a few months.
“my heart was still
a string inextricably knotted
cord of communion snapped”
Yes!
Vince introduced this to me during NaPaWriMo, but I have never tried it. This one is so fine, I am now tempted–especially since you paid attention to the art of the actual page! Did you work with pencils or paint–on a copy> Or are you decorating a book for a gift/exhibit? I love books and book art.
This is acrylic, metallic powder, pigment sticks, stickers, and oil pastel on archival paper. I printed the text in a book format in Word, the same process I used for the first one I did during NaPoWriMo for Vince. I think you should try it, it’s a wonderful way to interact with the text. So far I’ve only worked with novels I know intimately but may branch out over time. I too love books and books arts :D. I may one day have to do a series for exhibition, that’s an excellent idea. Right now I have a show of nonrepresentational painting and experimental abstract floral paintings over photographs up at a local venue.
ha this is wicked cool..i love it when you do this….i still have not tried it….my heart was still
a string inextricably knotted
cord of communion snapped….my fav stanza for sure…you get good emotion out of this as well….particularly in that last stanza….nicely done anna.
Thanks Brian, I would love to read yours if you try it; I think you’d have a lot of fun making it. So far I have chosen emotional high points in the novels to explore, seeing if it’s possible to smash all that emotion into an even smaller space. For this I wanted to blend Jane’s voice and internal speech in with Mr. Rochester’s responses to see what I could find. Chapter 23 is a powder keg of Gothic romance with the weather foreshadowing and everything so Charlotte gave me a lot to work with :).
hey i remember this one…actually i had considered breaking out hte watercolor on mine instead of using the sharpie to black out because i remembered the color in yours….i hope you are doing well anna…and the new year is starting off good…smiles.
I wish I could hit the “Like” button over and over again! What an amazing piece of art! You make me want to sign off the computer and go try the form…both visual and verbal. You have captured Jane’s angst in this. One of the best novels of that era reborn here!
Hooray, I love it when something I create inspires someone, it’s the greatest compliment. I would love to see/read it if you try the form, it really is a blast and presents an entirely new set of challenges. I do think this is the point in the book where Charlotte most clearly speaks through Jane and that makes it doubly powerful. So wonderful to hear you enjoyed it; your visits always brighten my day :).
Is there a link where I can learn more about the form? Maybe this is what I’ll try for next week’s OLN!
http://vincegotera.blogspot.com/2012/05/post-napowrimo-prompt-erasure-poetry.html
This is where I learned about it. Vince is a professor and the editor of the North American Review. He has examples of his work and of other poets’ sites. How exciting!
Thanks, Anna.
You do so well with this, Anna… they highlight your talent w/ the poetry/ art combo… I think you should submit it.
Thanks Laurie :D, I loved making the first two and look forward to making more!
So cool, Anna. Especially the close, I thought. Visually, it is quite beautiful, although I confess a bit too hard for my eyes to take in. But quite wonderful, especially when considering the source – a real reverberation there. k.
I agree, visually the form can be overwhelming. Other erasure poets, who do these frequently, tend to limit the amount of visual stimuli by blacking out or otherwise obscuring some of the text. I think this can be a wonderful technique, especially when coupled with a figurative style. Thanks so much for the read; lovely to hear it worked for you!
Yet another …’Wow’ Anna. You continue to amaze with your talent and yes, genius. I loved both ways that you presented this. It is truly AWE some.!
Big smiles, I’m so happy to hear you enjoyed it. Your encouragement always helps me to continue to take risks!
Ingenious! And very effective–I’ve shed many tears over that particular passage, and you’ve pulled out some of the most piercing words–I do like seeing the painting, to give context, but the impact is really felt in the bald words on the screen beneath. You’ve definitely given this form a reason to be.
It’s a fascinating process and so far I’ve stuck to novels I have a relationship with :). I too have cried through Chapter 23. I like the contrast, the bald words stripped down to the burning core of Jane. Thanks so much for stopping by to read I always value your thoughts.
What a fun process! I found this fascinating, and now am determined to give it a go. Thanks again, Anna, for the enlightenment.
It’s tons of fun I’d love to see what you come up with – please let me know when you post it. I’m happy to have made the introduction and hope you enjoy it!
This is pure delight and genius. I have never seen anything like it. How wonderful!!!
Jenny, so awesome you’re delighted! I’d never seen it until I was introduced through the prompt. The internet can be a glorious tool for expanding exposure to new things and people. Thanks so much for visiting!
Wow, Anna!! What a fantastic form! This is brilliant. And your painting is just gorgeous.
Oh, well, you’ve just made my evening, thank you!
WOW Anna, this is just wonderful! i cannot even find the proper words to describe how this made me feel. the colors, the words… aaah. amazing.
thank you for sharing your wonderful art. this is absolutely stunning.
Aw, thank you, you’ve given me the warm fuzzies, how kind :)!
Awesome write, Anna. Thanks for your kind words.
Anytime, I know how hard it is to lose them. Please be gentle and take good care. xo
Beautifully done Anna! 🙂 …. Thank you for making it over to my blog! glad you liked my piece 🙂
Cheers!
It was my pleasure, I’m enjoying your work!
Wow… Beatiful combination… Your words the feelings, colors, painting. The perfect poem.
I’m glad I read this peice and discovered your blog.
Thank you Shadiatique
Well, thank you so much for the visit, wonderful to meet you.
Anna, your talent is enviable (I’m turning green). I’m amazed at the process you describe for the painting. And I know the process for the poem takes effort and thought . I can’t imagine that one automatically produces a real piece of art, but you def have. This is beautiful.
No need for envy, it’s better to join in the fun :)! I was thinking at some point I’d use this experimental approach/erasure poem for my Meeting the Bar prompt. I think lots of people would enjoy it and you can do the visual representation however you’d like. Thank you very much for your lovely compliment.
Wow, that was surely a feat. Love how it is displayed at first and then how you put it together in verse, wonderfully done.
Thanks, the fun was finding the poetry in the prose, well, and coming up with the title, and painting and oh, I guess it was all fun :).
yes, you are a genius… i love, love, love this, especially that ending, wow. somehow, you took the meaning of the entire book and condensed it down into this poem. perfect.
and p.s. … your comment at my place today made me smile and smile,
Oh, I’m so happy to hear it as I love it when you smile and smile :D!
WOW. You are so creative!
I try :D!
Hi Anna
how I love this technique: I was once paid a tidy sum to decorate an entire canvas marquee in such a way, for a big party… A big job! But what fun! It is a real marriage of our passions, and it can really throw open the twin gates. I think your results are fantastic. I may have the bends 😀
Oh, that does sound fun. My largest painting is 45 feet and I once knew a painter who hung off the side of a building to do a live (on TV) enormous painting project. I don’t think I’d want to hang on a harness on TV but we once did a collaborative piece at a street festival that immediately sold (that was a rush).
PS
they didn’t pay me enough . . . This tent was way massive! lol 😀
They never do. I was once commissioned to plaster a drag bar that served brunch with digital art but it fell through when the owner only wanted to pay for supplies. Excuse me, I’m pretty sure crawling around installing 1500 8X10s on a curved bar is worth something.
Impossible to proceed
I endured no longer
grief and love
claiming mastery
This very well relates to life’s response. There may come a time when one’s patience is tested that it is impossible to proceed. One will very well react or retort back to ensure not to be bullied. And one can even claim to be much stronger after that. That’s how I see it Anna! Your verse is powerful!
Hank
Yes, Mr. Rochester many times tried to bully Jane but her strength of character won out in the end I think. Thank you, Hank :).
what can i say anna…this is just way, way cool
Thanks Claudia, hope you’re enjoying your trip :D!
smiles… even though i’ve seen it already, enjoyed the re-read… and wishing you a happy new year…smiles
Super job here Anna. I love this type of creativity. It’s a great poem put together here, but so much fun going through the circles. Excellent experience. thanks
Me too, so wonderful to hear you enjoyed it. I still think your highlighting idea from those YA books would produce some fascinating poetry. Let me know if you decide to try it – I’d love to see what you come up with.
Anna, loved this, especially your photo of the process. Have you been to erasure.com? It allows one to experiment with erasures using snippets from classics. This Jane Eyre is certainly satisfying, a little dark, and yeah, just like I like it! Some erasures have little consequence; yours has substance and meaning. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/10/14/since-the-procedure/
Going to LA for two weeks, so I’ll be scarce!
Sorry, this ended up in spam, I think it was the link (which is silly but who understands the ways of the spam filter) – but now it’s rescued :D! Thanks Amy, I haven’t tried erasure.com, I’ll have to check it out. So far I’ve been working from books I know well but it may be fun to introduce an element of chance. I think that in Charlotte’s experience the dark was more realistic than the dark mixed with wish fulfillment she portrays in the book. Great that you like it dark!
Genius girl ~ this is extraordinary ~ I shall be trying it myself, at home, alone, when brain is engaged 🙂
Polly, everyone should come to work and get this kind of encouragement :D! I would love to see what you come up with, more and more I think I should turn this into a prompt.
this is stunning! especially knowing how difficult it is to pull words from someone else’s work to form one’s own. gorgeous visually, as well!
♥
Thank you dani, you’ve brightened my day :)!
This is awesome, Anna! You have created a wonderful poem in a very unique way! I often turn stories I’ve written into poems, and I will have to try doing so in this manner. It looks like great fun!
Charles, I think you should try it; I’d love to see what you come up with. It is a lot of fun! Thanks so much for the compliment.
Beautiful, Anna– this exquisitely and gently displaces logic so that new imagery can emerge– I especially love the earth-grounded imagery:
the sea is a barrier
from you
brine and foam
destined to rush between
it is a long way
morally certain
on the eve of separation
stars enter into their shining…
exquisite and happy for you you’re building such a following…xj
Thanks Jenne, it is an interesting process to move from prose to poetry which presents different challenges. Yes, Charlotte provides beautiful imagery. I am very fortunate to have readers, the joy of blogging I suppose, as all my work used to sit in a drawer or not get made at all.
This is just deadly cool, masterful…and I am a complete besotted fan of Jane…thanks for the introduction to a new form too
Ooo, deadly cool, thank you and very nice to meet you.
wonderful. wonderful- I love both! The marriage here is quite phenomenal, every stanza effective and activating. a string inextricably knotted is among my faves. I was also pleasantly astounded by the finality of your last 5 lines. superb.
Jane, so lovely to see you! Yes, it is like a marriage, wonderful analogy. Thanks so much :D.
Oh! I told myself I was gonna try this when I saw your last one. I totally forgot. I love the art of it as well.
Oh yes, I’d love to see it if you do!
Hugely successful experimen, Anna.. love what you’ve done. Verbal-visual combo complete with the process of creation. Beautiful, stirring piece. Thanks for the inspiration!
Becky, how did I miss this comment? So sorry I didn’t reply initially. Thank you for the lovely compliment. I think I will do this ‘form’ for one of the Meeting the Bar prompts.
erasure: bees visiting meaning gently
blessing words with relatedness and new congruence.
petrified, it strikes me with
terror and anguish
to be torn from you forever
it is like looking on
the necessity of death
trees and lightning, kites and lightning,
your words make me feel i am the tree.
trees falling are a horror
even if you cant hear them fall
in the jungle
they are the mirror for our lungs
the yin yang pair, symbiotic
i found a book today by shaun tan
it is a picture book with a scary journey.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Tree_(Shaun_Tan)
the story tree is red. i love gum trees more.
i planted a gum from my father this weekend.
his book arrival is beautiful too
it is about someone journeying to somewhere new
wordless but eloquent.
It looks like an interesting book, the red leaf of hope is touching.
Love this! And even your original blackout/erasure text is a work of art!
Oh yes.. What a stunning example .. The creation of a piece of art with the poem. The last stanza is chillingly touching.., bravo
You have created something moving, beautiful and powerful.
Really a wonderful presentation, Anna! An original approach.
One would never guess this was created from Jane Eyre! Beautiful for the eyes and the mind.
Damn, lady, you leave me nearly speechless. dVerse Bjorn asked for an exercise of abstract poetics done with a Sharpie, like asking for a sketch on a cocktail napkin, & wowzer you produce a work of stunning art that eclipses mere words, illuminates the process, is a stand alone work of art ready to frame, to hang in a Soho gallery, & Bronte never looked or sounded so good before; overwhelming, gargantuan, poetics & art done in behemoth proportions; wow, just wow.
Admiring your work Anna ~ Still a gem to read, smiles ~