(definitions and notes at the end of the post)
terricolous vulnerability
wind beats, tears tree limbs senselessly
awakens me at two
progressively earlier, as if getting a head start will make it worksecret self enters a prime neologism
(double edged word)
flashes of the road to Hāna
arriving alone on the black volcanic shore
25 foot waves threaten crisis
crepuscule floats atop the violence
enantiomorphic noctilucent clouds appear as hierograms
somnifacient, auriferous divine projections
cover letters must be written
(logical/sequential marches in the margins):
Dear Board of Directors: I am uniquely qualified to bring your organization into the next phase of its nonprofit lifecycle. With seven years of progressive experience as an administrator I’ve quadrupled the budget, secured more than a million dollars in support, collaborated with hundreds of organizations, partnered with corporate donors, provided measurable outcomes for vulnerable populations…
(dear reader, do you know anyone who needs an Executive Director?)
packing boxes! thoughts invade this sanctuary of art,
all my treasures will be (hidden)
polymythical fractious storylines colliding
synchrotron beamlines branch
as abstract futures smash up
i contemplate my tragic flaw
she reminds me i’m capable, intelligent, creative, functional, witty, lovely
believe the list! win fight perform wow charm hedge prove!
oh and they all say i’ve been through so much worse (this never helps)
kerfs mark raw silk, ripping
tactile encounters are disasters of percipient stratum
yet i was so open, orgasmic (blush)
tracing your words (thought artifacts)
undertow gains potency – i withstand the pelting rocks – deafening roar
poetry swirls, th e l i n e s w o n ’ t c o n n e c t
4………………3…………..2…….1
melodies disenfranchise
lingual possession thieved
corrugated smells intrude, demanding
thoughts dropped jagged edge
up
i’m an imperfect processor with selection bias
questing for an oracle of algorithms
deciphering code
delineating borders
i smile but lick my canine
press to feel solidity
the rage to master won’t rescue this poem
from the brink
of disintegration
pandect induces bradycardia – NO!
where is the intricate architecture?
you can’t build a civilization without infrastructure
life invades organically
intermingling traumas, visions, and vistas
(it is four in the morning)
tender phylogeny
an imposed or inherent order?
steel girders at wrong angles
concrete poured outside the mold
(WordPress keeps undoing my formatting,
stealing all the spaces!)
who needs self-conscious poetry?
reality stalks like a zoo panther
stuck, stuck travelling the loop
loop my loop
loop my loop
my terricolous vulnerability
(liminal space)
who comes every day to loop my loop?
to make me face Brutality Between the Lines
damn lines that don’t connect
i redraw with new colors, open ensō
what does it mean
(do you know what it means?)
my pocket atlas is written in symbols
metaphrastic selenography
buried under ethnolinguistic axioms
i’ve become a sojourner
within my own cultural schema
a foreigner at home
Notes/Definitions: neologism: 1. A new word, expression, or usage. 2. The creation or use of new words or senses. 3. Psychology a. The invention of new words regarded as a symptom of certain psychotic disorders, such as schizophrenia. b. A word so invented. 4. TheologyA new doctrine or a new interpretation of scripture.; Hāna: is a census-designated place (CDP) in Maui County, Hawaii, United States. The population was 2,291 at the 2010 census. Hana is located at the eastern end of the island of Maui and is one of the most isolated communities in the state. It is reached mainly via the Hana Highway, a long, winding, 52 miles (84 km) long highway along Maui’s northern shore.; crepuscule: twilight; enantiomorph: 1. mirror image, form related to another as an object is to its image in a mirror. 2. either of a pair of crystals that are mirror images of each other, and are optically active. 3. (chemistry) A similar molecule or compound; an enantiomer.; noctilucent clouds: tenuous cloud-like phenomena that are the “ragged-edge” of a much brighter and pervasive polar cloud layer called polar mesospheric clouds in the upper atmosphere, visible in a deep twilight. They are made of crystals of water ice.; hierogram: sacred writing or a sacred character or symbol.; somnifacient: causing or inducing sleep.; auriferous: containing gold.; nonprofit lifecycles: 1. Grass Roots – Invention 2. Start-Up – Incubation 3. Adolescent – Growing 4. Mature – Sustainability 5. Stagnation & Renewal 6. Decline And Shut-Down (as conceptualized by Speakman Consulting Firm); polymythology: A combination of a number of stories in one narrative or dramatic work.; fractious: tending to be troublesome; synchronotron: a particular type of cyclic particle accelerator in which the magnetic field (to turn the particles so they circulate) and the electric field (to accelerate the particles) are carefully synchronised with the travelling particle beam.; tragic flaw: defect in hero’s character that causes downfall; kerf: a slit or notch made by a saw or cutting torch; percipient: 1: one that perceives 2: a person on whose mind a telepathic impulse or message is held to fall; stratum: 4. one of a series of layers, levels, or gradations in an ordered system <strataof thought>; disenfranchise: to deprive of a franchise, of a legal right, or of some privilege or immunity; selection bias: (2) selection of samples or studies by researchers to support a particular hypothesis.; algorithm: In mathematics and computer science, an algorith is an effective method expressed as a finite list of well-defined instructions for calculating a function. Algorithms are used for calculation, data processing, and automated reasoning.; pandect: 2. A complete body of laws; bradycardia: slow heartbeat; phylogeny: The evolutionary development and history of a species or higher taxonomic grouping of organisms.; terricolous: living on or in the ground; Liminality is a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective state, conscious or unconscious, of being on the “threshold” of or between two different existential planes, as defined in neurological psychology (a “liminal state”) and in the anthropological theories of ritual by such writers as Arnold van Gennep and Victor Turner.; Brutality Between the Lines is one of my poems (found here http://chromapoesy.com/2011/08/05/brutality-between-the-lines/); Ensō (円相) is a Japanese word meaning “circle” and a concept strongly associated with Zen. Ensō is one of the most common subjects of Japanese calligraphy even though it is a symbol and not a character. It symbolizes the Absolute enlightenment, strength, elegance, the Universe, and the void; it can also symbolize the Japanese aesthetic itself. As an “expression of the moment” it is often considered a form of minimalist expressionist art.; metaphrasis: the practice of making a literal translation from one language into another.; Selenography is the study of the surface and physical features of the Moon. Historically, the principal concern of selenographists was the mapping and naming of the lunar maria, craters, mountain ranges, and other various features.; ethnolinguistics: a field of linguistics which studies the relationship between language and culture, and the way different ethnic groups perceive the world.; axiom: 1. a self-evident truth that requires no proof. 2.a universally accepted principle or rule. 3. Logic, Mathematics. a proposition that is assumed without proof for the sake of studying the consequences that follow from it.; Cultural Schema Theory (Nishida, 1999) explains the familiar and pre-acquainted knowledge one uses when entering a familiar situation in his/her own culture. Cultural schemas for social interaction are cognitive structures that contain knowledge for face-to-face interactions in a person’s cultural environment. Schemas are generalized collections of knowledge of past experiences that are organized into related knowledge groups; they guide our behaviors in familiar situations. Cultural schemas do not differ from other schemas, except that they are shared by certain cultural groups rather than individuals (Garro, 2000). Schemas unique to individuals are created from personal experiences, whereas those shared by individuals are created from various types of common experiences (Garro, 2000). Cultural Schema Theory proposes that when we interact with members of the same culture in certain situations many times, or talk about certain information with them many times, cultural schemas are created and stored in our brain (Nishida, 1999)
Chromapoetica 
Anna, absolutely enjoyed the poem. The call back to the start is well crafted, as many moments throughout seem to reflect back to that opening. The combination of themes, the union of idea is grand here. I love how you included the cover letter, as it opens a deeper dimension to the piece. Really like the conversation within the conversation, with the inner conversation, then the “aside-like” bringing the reader directly into the piece, so reminiscent of the time of plays, when it was the only medium for visual drama, adds an amazing touch. Obviously I liked the language, can’t believe you got me again, had to look up a few:)
And the notes, while I didn’t read through all of them, as I look things up I dont’ know in a tabbed screen alongside, but wow, that had to take a while including it all.
Great job, love the loop and the last 3 stanzas are a great way to end the piece, love the progression from “symbol” to symbol (tangible) to sojourner to foreigner, very nicely illustrated.
Thanks
Yes, so much going on at once and I didn’t want to reduce it, even for art’s sake, to make a point. All the conversations compete for attention and addressing the viewer is like having an actor speak to the camera in film to hopefully bring the reader further into the world of the poem. I’m thrilled I sent you to the tabbed screen. Thanks for the feedback Fred!
Anna this is an amazing piece. I read the footnotes first, but actually, this poem is much more self-explanatory than it would appear, especially in its very human and prosaic interjections of the frustrated composer. It makes stream of consciousness look old hat, primitive; rudimentary attempts to show the mind and emotion tossed into unconscious and uncomfortable jointure in a complex salad as you have done here so adeptly. The last lines are universal in their sense of bemused alienation and that stunned feeling we get when we look around and see suddenly a place we never expected to be. Fine writing, on every level.
Thank you Joy, your feedback means so much to me. I also appreciate that you read the footnotes, they’re time consuming. I like how you see the poem and the ending, precisely how I feel so I think maybe my experiment worked :). Thank you for hosting OLN it’s a great gift you give to us poets!
you have included some really fascinating elements into this llove the visual tools you use in the middle with connect…the left adjust in those couple lines…a sojouner…foreigner in my own home is emotive for me as well..as i have been there…
Thank you Brian, I’ll take fascinating. I had more visual elements but WordPress thwarted me at every turn (I wrote it in for revenge :)). I’m sorry to hear you’ve also been a foreigner in your own home, you have my empathy.
a cocoon
a circle resolving
a ring of growth
flawless
Thank you Janet and also for the link to the Japanese pianist/composer – I watched several of her videos.
If the damn lines don’t connect I guess we just make them..haha, loved that part, another wonderful verse, always learn a thing or two with my visits too, how dare you..haha
Sheer force of willpower, right? Thanks for the feedback and hey it’s fun to learn new things so I think you like it!
A ragingly creative piece of writing. The last stanza is exquisitely painful… // Peter.
Thank you Peter, your feedback is invaluable.
So intricate, complex and yet so frustrating in its moments too. A cleverly crafted weave of words that are both conundrum and self explanatory. Amazing work!
Welcome to my life :); thank you for your insightful comment.
Thank you so much for the definitions. You are a walking dictionary and sometimes I struggle with some of the amazing words you use. Now, I just have to reminisce here…When I was a teen my aunt and uncle took us to Hawai’i for the celebration of their statehood. (1959, I think) We flew from Oahu on a tiny plane, landing on a dirt strip in Hana. It was pristine beauty back then…actually so was Honolulu. Nice memories you roused.
You’re welcome, Joy was telling me there’s a widget I can get for the blog that will help with that so I’ll have to keep my eyes peeled. That’s so wonderful you’ve been to Hana, I went the summer between 7th and 8th grade, 1986 I think, and it left a lasting impression. I would love to return to Hawaii someday. We also went to the white beaches of Lahina. It’s so cool we were both there while coming of age; what a wonderful gift from your aunt and uncle. Thank you for the story!
Hi, Anna. I enjoyed the flow from one thought to another written in a way that made them all seem to meld into one another seamlessly. And of course the visual manipulations made my eyes go wild with excitement 🙂
Thank you Sheila, that’s so kind of you to say, wonderful to see you!
Anna, an amazing write…. A lovely journey !
Thank you Ayala!
too much– such intensity and brilliance, like being in a meteor shower. The rage to master is the hallmark of genius and that describes you. A Mozart, never content with a mere Te Deum. xxxj
Jenne’ that is a stunning compliment; I deeply appreciate your understanding.
I’ve read it a couple of times and I still don’t think I got it. I think I’ll be seeing loops everywhere for a while. I went to read up on enso and thought that was interesting. Open enso could mean imperfection and drawing it as such, an acceptance of that as part of being. I feel like the narrator want to get to somewhere but the road ahead is confusing, obscured, not straightforward and no way to be certain, not feeling like you’re going forward, going around, going back and around, fear of being trapped in a roundabout. A lot examination, evaluation. Trying to solve. Maybe it’s alright, all this circular, all these puzzles, to feel out of place and then maybe learn and transform. It’s one of the ways forward perhaps.
Challenging to read, but fun ride nonetheless.
Maybe it is alright, I like that and appreciate very much that you puzzled this one out; I don’t know that it’s one for being clearly understood. Your engagement with the work is wonderful :). I’m going through several major life changes right now so things are all stirred up.
All the best, Anna. 🙂
Thank you sweetie :).
This reminds me a bit of one of those huge pointillistic orchestral works mixing denser passages with distinct, sometimes delicate, pitch events distributed somewhat sparsely over geographically distant instruments. (Heard very differently when on stage then when 50 rows back in the audience.) I read throught the notes after tackling the poem, looking up the unknown or forgotten words as encountered. Not sure If I like the addition of the footnotes or not — makes sense for the editor to do — very risky move for the poet.
This work creates a sparkling, brilliant effect — much like some of the Louisville Symphony Orchestra releases I listened to in college — very colorful and fresh. I know I don’t get it all, but I get the textures and the display of effects. For me this is not one of your best poems of those I’ve read, but certainly the best production. So much action on stage and engagement of attention with the asides working very nicely.
I agree it isn’t my best but part of the point of experimenting is to test out what works. No trying, no failing, no learning :). Thank you very much for the feedback and I always appreciate music analogies! The footnotes are an ongoing debate, some readers love and appreciate them and others are leery (they also are very time consuming). As a publisher I’ll face them with a poet I’m publishing next year and will get general feedback from that experience as well. I see your point about being closer or farther from the action. Glad parts of this worked for you.
The aesthetic impulse can become a consuming dragon, threatening to make extinct the private, personal, outward self … I get up at 3 a.m. to have a couple of hours before heading off the for day job I must never quit, and sometimes I wake at 2:30 or even 1:30, fired up to begin … This poem seems to shout all about balance and exceeding, that wavering line between controlling the flow and yeeeehawing the dragon to the ends of the mind. I call it the conundrum between the art and the heart — always a fray — but you’re quite succinct to call it “an imperfect processor with selection bias” worrying the hour and the job. When James Joyce threw a huge fit as he was writing Finnegans Wake — getting lost in that 17-year omnihowl — Nora would brew her husband a pot of tea. A cup for thee … all will be well.
I like the visual of the dragon and that you saw the purpose of ‘I’m an imperfect processor with selection bias’. Thank you immensely for the tea. Have you seen the movie Nora? I own a copy.
You make a very good job of suggesting dislocation.. threatening to overtake peace and endeavour..and as bookends…pure peace in tose visual images… I always feel that I’ve been in another dimension when I visit you Anna… my lungs are full and my head is spinning a bit.. 🙂
Thank you Becky, I have to move for the 47th time so I am feeling acutely the displacement. Welcome to my dimension :). Anytime you need to have a seat you have a very special reading chair reserved for you in my blogging nook.
you have an established internal landscape with familiar architecture and twisty laneways
rich linguistic ecologies and a crowd of friends who are not going anywhere =).
it seems the season for packing and unpacking. hope that you have sensible trees at your destination and that things feel spatially at peace again soon.
Oh Janet that’s so wonderful of you :). I may move somewhere with flowering trees (I do so love them). I’ll have to take the aspens along in my heart.
Another lovely cinematic swirl. I like the last verse:
i’ve become a sojourner
within my own cultural schema
a foreigner at home
Captures perfectly why some write–to create another world….
Thank you Steve, nice to see you again.
Dear Anna
Its an amazing post… and took me on to a wonderful journey. You work out the many different levels of existence …. like parallel universe and lives… I enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for sharing…
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-where-you-will-go.html
Thank you Sashi, it’s wonderful to hear that all the layers of existence came through, I love how you’ve put that.