for Dave
In a time when words were like magic,
scintilla, igniting the soul’s spark,
when a person could become an animal
and an animal could shape shift into a man
the Self was an ever changing avatar,
evanescent, unfolding in the storm clouds
hidden in the firestick, a manifested paradox,
alchemical fantasy, a secret backbone,
I ruled the underworld, black as void
my blue flamed breath singeing flesh from skulls
ashen harbinger of death, bearer of detritus,
my treasures of regeneration well-guarded
my dragon form forged star glittering,
damp fiery, cold spirit in the heart
of a supermassive black hole, abyssal afrit,
my wisdom grew over millennia until
one drop of my blood
could transmute fragile flesh
into invincible skin
Notes: This piece is now linked to Meeting the Bar: Atmosphere at dVerse Poets Pub. When writing this poem I wanted to create a feeling of awe, fear, psychological tension, and transformation. To accomplish this I used diction that emphasizes these qualities as well as words that may not be as familiar to readers. My intent was for this exotic language to allow the reader to experience the unknown in the process of engaging the poem. In addition, the setting is darker and spans a great deal of time. Obviously, the environment is influenced by myth and displays a fantastical world. Using a first person persona and an authoritative voice adds to the incantatory feeling of the work which I felt would contribute to a sense of awe. Please let me know your thoughts and feelings about atmosphere and the tools that contribute or detract from it within this work.
Absolutely wonderful! I love it when you write fantasy! I am still rendered speechless when I read your poetry. I admire your talent and ability to write about anything, anytime. I love you sweetheart!
very cool…obviously a fictional piece…right? you are not really a dragon…smiles…ha….just playing…def cool and rings of myth or legend…i love dragon stories too…i grew up on them…
A mythical magical love story. Your words are invincible.
I love the world you brought me into. I can smell the singed landscapes left behind. This is a wonderful poem. Perhaps I will dream in a world of such magical words tonight!
ok – i love that you can tell so exactly what tools you used.. i do lots of things without having a name for them really… loved the poem.. a magical story with a personal title and that connects reality and fantasy beautifully here
smiles…cool to look at this through a new lens….i like the thumping rhythm to it which plays on the transformation to me…the fluidity…and you def got the awe and magic…smiles…coolness…looking forward to the bar…
I really think you managed to evoke threat and fear, the connection to myths with shapeshifters and dragons…I liked the tight cadence, that added to the threat.. could almost feel a shaman’s drum beating.
I think you conveyed what you set out to do well.>KB
Oh, this is lovely. I especially like this line: “the Self was an ever changing avatar.” There is power in this piece.
i’m scared
Third and fourth verses are spectacular in emotions and imagery ~ I am awed ~
Thanks for showing us a fine work ~
Anna, I think you aptly draw the dragon here. My one nit/concern is if the word dragon is needed? You’re incredilbly descriptive, do you need to announce it’s a dragon? After my first read from you, this reinforces for what themes and tone you are comfortable with. I like it. I can only read about so many flowers or lost love. ;->
Shape shifting and dragons – you have done something really magical here. Love it!
You were a dragon once, weren’t you? Within time I can remember? And not a dark-grrr one either!
The meter sometimes varies, but is regular enough to feel like saga, and the opening words “In a time when …” add to that feeling.The first and second stanzas set the mood of magic and hidden things and the third takes that down into the darkness where death, ash, flames, scull, detritus pile into an evil night that hides its own Light.. The voice of the dragon emerges as the storyteller. The fourth brings this focus on evil to an extreme climax. But you let us go in your final stanza. The portrait is done, but the poem feels unfinished. I expect it’s part of a larger cycle.? Quality stuff here, your seal is in the writing.
Anna you fold me into this piece i become twisted with the feeling and i see more than one type of dragon i love the way this is written and thank you for the hosting at the bar hugs
Yes, the language really does communicate the sense of an unknown time – thrilling.
This is fantasy most beautifully done. I absolutely love it with its subtle shifts of atmosphere. Thanks for this.
I particularly like the second stanza…
I felt I was in a mystical state disconnected and as if looking over the images from above and then with one drop of blood we are snapped back in the tangible and more menacing and threatening. It was ominous – now excuse me while i look up scintilla and detritus.