(a Scifaiku)
supermassive black
hole, abyssal afrit haunts
vast denaturing
Cetus devours
cosmological constant
infinite battles
human myth traces,
reads particle horizon
anagogically
life exists within
gracile lines demarcating
poetic splendor
Original experimental poem can be found here: http://chromapoesy.com/2012/04/09/particle-horizon/. What’s a Scifaiku? See Vince Gotera’s superb example and explanation here: http://vincegotera.blogspot.com/2012/05/scifaiku-one.html.
Abyssal afrit has the most wonderful sound! You are very good with sound, even in a black hole, which one expects to be rather silent. k.
Haha, nice one k :).
Hey, Anna … here’s another sci-fi verse title: Holding Your Eight Hands.
Thanks for the link! You’re so nice.
Thank you for the form idea and book recommendation! My original poem was a bit unwieldy.
K … actually black holes are quite noisy (though not in sound but in light and other electromagnetic energy). As material spins into the black hole, they give off energy.
ha. you make science come alive…i like the abyssal afrit as well…that last stanza is really cool as well….enjoyed the way this kinda just rolled off the tongue…
What lovely things to say, thanks!
This is very interesting. Really fascinating seeing the transformation. I’ve yet to check out the page as to the exact parameters of this form but I’m guessing a haiku with a scifi theme. Really cool job, it’s like a different piece. I like looking at things like this, when a piece is altered and the original is still in view, haven’t had the time right now, but hopefully I’ll find the time to really take into account some guesswork as to the alterations. Very neat. Thanks
Thank you, my laptop self destructed so I’ve just now got the opportunity to reply to your comment. I am also woefully behind on commenting on your blogs. I’ll be by soon :).
scifaiku – what a concept!!! I love it. and knowing you, I am guessing that last stanza refers to how you feel about poetic forms (smiles)
Sheila, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were teasing me ;).
Very interesting. Even after trimming to this form, the poem’s original message is fully retained imho.
Thank you, that’s extremely helpful feedback :)!
Wouldn’t it be so wonderful to actually discover what IS on the other side of the black holes. I bet we’d be amazed!
Lovely imagery Anna.
Oooo, my high school dream was to become an astronaut, though I don’t think I’d be brave enough for that adventure :).
Thank you for an interesting post and something new I’d never been aware of.
Enjoyed your write very much…and I am nowirt a science fiction fan…just was wondering what the word Scifaiku) and it was a very interesting experience.
Peace,
Siggi in Downeast Maine
Thanks Siggi for being open minded, I really appreciate your feedback.
“life exists within
gracile lines demarcating
poetic splendor”
yes. i LOVE this. the very best way to live! great music in this one.
It’s amazing how thin those lines are, yet our entire world lies within. Thank you Kelly :)!